Never thought I'd dislike food so much...

I really shouldn't complain too much. I've only puked once. I feel nauseous a lot though. It comes and goes. I don't like cooking right now. I hate the thought of preparing food. I've had to throw out a lot of stuff. Seeing certain things reminds me of something else and then I get really sick feeling where I feel like I'm about to puke but don't. Like this shallot I have. I need to get rid of it. I made this mock marsala cream sauce since I don't have marsala laying around (weird right?) and its like the one from macaroni grill. Well yeah... sick. The thought of it now makes me want to vomit. I actually just had to get up to get some grapefruit juice to help me out. I loved grapefruit juice when I was preggo with Charlotte and I love it anyway but I swear its even better now. So anyway I have struggled with cooking as in like not cooking hardly. We ate out more this past week more than necessary but the thought of cooking just kills me. And we can't afford to eat out that much so yeah...gotta change that. Luckily I have been craving salads. Last summer Scott and I did these big salads a lot. Especially when we were up at the cabin. Lots of toppings. I love tomatoes, cucumbers, little cubes of cheese, olives, sunflower seeds, garbanzo beans, a little pasta, croutons, bell peppers and then it has to be topped off with Wild Coyote ranch dressing that they make here in UT. Its the closest thing to a good restaurant style from like Ruby Tuesdays or Sweet Tomatoes (aka Souplantation... they are owned by the same people). So at least now I have a good craving. So yeah... salads and pb and j with strawberry jam. So good. So I bought a few things I can handle to cook for Charlotte and hopefully we can get back on track. No more eating out. Can't keep doing that.

So yeah... besides my cravings and aversions I'm pretty normal. I still am afraid something might go wrong. It just seems to good to be true sometimes. Hopefully it'll sink in after my first appt. I just can't believe my body still did it all on its own without any medication. Not even metformin. I had that with Charlotte but somehow I did it without any assistance. Just crazy.

Well I will hopefully try to get 4th of July stuff up. It was a looooooong day but super fun. I didn't get a lot of pics but that's ok. My computer is sucking it up right now. We really need a more reliable computer. This was refurbished. The other day it just decided it will start freezing up randomly and it takes it about a million restarts before it will last long enough to get anything done. I swear there is just never enough money to get anything done. I can't wait to be out of debt someday. It's a struggle and its so frustrating. And the bummer is we were sooooo close when I quit work but Scott couldn't get his hours back from his boss quick enough. It took him like 2 months of writing these letters and going back and forth and in the meantime we couldn't even get a check big enough to make our house payment. So we'd have to let it overdraft to the credit card and we'd have to get groceries on our credit card because there just wasn't enough. Of course we've made mistakes here and there but its been a learning process. We just really need to cut back on stuff and try to get a lot of it paid off before baby #2 comes. So that's my goal. And if I'm lucky this computer can hang in there until we can get a new one (fingers crossed!) Being an adult is so fun isn't it? Someday we'll get there.

Well while this grapefruit juice has me feeling pretty good I have a sink full of dishes screaming at me to clean them up... its gotten bad. I can't wait to be done with this this the next month and a half. My house needs me to not be so lazy. It really does.