When I die

So yesterday was a crazy busy day. It started out around 3am when Charlotte rolled off her bed. She was awake on and off for a bit after that. She hardly cried. Her bed is only like a foot or less off the ground so it wasn't bad. She did good about getting right back in bed but couldn't seem to get comfortable. Neither could I. I was up until about 5:30 and I think Charlotte fell back asleep around 5. Then we didn't get up until 8:15am and my mom happened to call about the same time. As soon as I was off the phone I had to get laundry going and get the bathrooms cleaned and I got it done just before I had to visit teach at 10:45am. Then we had a little break for a lunch and had another visiting teaching appointment at 1pm. I got back around 3 (we always have fun chatting with the sisters we visit) and I got Charlotte down for a nap. Then I had to iron some stuff and fold laundry and shower so I could go to the temple. For Relief Society we were gonna do a temple trip to do initiatories. Only 3 of us went but it was a good experience none the less. So it was a long day for me. Back to the reason of the title of my post.

During my first appt with a lady across the street I had heard some interesting information. I won't share all the details because I don't feel right posting it publicly when its not really my business. But basically there is a guy in our ward who has been sick for some time and I just found out that the doctors can't do anything for him so he's pretty much just waiting to die. He's probably like mid 30s or something. Around my brother's age. Not exactly sure how many kids he has... 5 maybe? Then one step daughter. I guess the family is just enjoying the time they have with him now and preparing for the future without him. This just really got me thinking.

I have been fortunate enough to not have to deal with a lot of death in my life. My dad's mom died when I was like 3. His dad died about 5 1/2 years ago. My mom's mom died in like '98 I think and her dad in '02 or '03. I was kind of close with my grandparents but its not like they lived in the same city. My grandpa lived in UT mainly growing up and I'd see him like once a year and my mom's parents were an hour away and I'd be lucky to see them once a month or so. Don't get me wrong, I loved them but back then it just never seemed real. I think I miss them now more than ever. I wish they were around to see Charlotte. I guess they are probably hanging out with any future kids I might have right now and probably met Charlotte before she joined our family. But really I've never had to deal with death much.

So when I heard that this guy has taken a turn for the worse I guess, it just made my heart ache. I tried to put myself in his wife's shoes or his kids. I can't imagine what that's like. Never really knowing when the last time you might say goodbye is but knowing its soon. My heart just goes out to them right now. I just can't even begin to imagine what they are feeling. The whole reason he is sick in the first place just breaks my heart but the fact that his life is going to be cut short because of someone else's selfishness is just horrible. One thing that I will always remember about this man is the day we went with the youth to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. His son was there and he was going to get to baptize him. Now that might not sound like anything special but knowing what he's gone through physically and how much weaker he is, its just so awesome. This guy who is basically always on oxygen was able to unhook himself and stand there to baptize his son for those who passed on. What a great feeling that must have been for him.

So thinking about him and his family is really just getting to me for some reason. I just feel so bad. I also have been thinking about a song. I'm pretty sure that most people that read my blog are LDS but in case you're not we believe that we can live with our families forever when we are sealed together in the temple under the proper priesthood authority. We have to live our lives according to the gospel standards to be able to do so but it pretty much gives you a purpose in life. A song keeps coming to mind. Me and my music. I love songs that have meaning. Songs that can express your feelings or beliefs. Especially when it actually is kind of catchy and just well written. One song that I really like and makes me think is called "When I die" by New Found Glory. I think death can be such a sad thing. But when you know that our lives here on Earth are so short and if we do whats right we have the opportunity to be with our families forever, it brings you hope. This song reminds me that its okay. I love the words and I love how it sounds. So here is a link to the song: http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/537240849. Just click on the play button for "When I die." You can also read the lyrics here: http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/newfoundglory/whenidie.html. I know and believe we can be with our families forever but this song always is a nice little reminder. Most of us probably have family members that are already "home" and its always nice to know that when our time on earth is up, we won't be alone. We'll just be going home to be with those we haven't seen for a while.

So anyway, those are my thoughts. My prayers go out to this family in our ward. I hope the truths of the gospel can bring them comfort at this time. I hope that despite the circumstances they can forgive who they should forgive and live the way they should so they can can be with their dad/husband forever. Times like these I appreciate what I have and my family even more. What on earth would I do without the gospel?... I actually don't really want to know :)