Kids are officially gone

My nieces and nephew officially left Saturday morning. It was bittersweet. We had some fun times with them the past 3 weeks. They were a big help with Charlotte and Jackson. The girls loved meeting their only boy cousin for the first time. They were holding him a ton which gave me a nice break. Nolan played with Charlotte a ton. And Charlotte loved to be with them and is sad now that they're gone.

This time has been different. Funny what a few months will do. Cami has changed a lot. She tries to act so much older than she is. It's sad to see how her mom has tried to change her and not just let her be a kid. Izzy is kinda stuck in the middle. I don't think she gets quite enough attention. She gets picked on a lot by Cami. Then she in turn picks on Nolan. She hasn't been taught good hygiene. My mom was constantly having to tell her to shower. It was really sad. Then there is Nolan. He is pretty good and a sweet kid. He gets picked on by his sisters a lot. He was super excited because he finally learned how to swim. My mom has been wanting to get him into swimming lessons but they do it funky up here. It's not like how it was when I took lessons in CA. There are different levels. You don't just learn to swim you only learn like certain bits each session and they are never here long enough. But my mom tried to talk him through some stuff at the pool and how he can swim. He was so excited. My brother said that was the first thing he said to his mom when he got out of the car. Sadly she didn't act like she cared much.

I feel so bad for those kids. Cami is always left in charge until their mom gets home from work. All summer they are left home while she works or goes to the gym or out. So they are kind of left to take care of themselves. Which explains the poor hygiene and their poor housekeeping skills. They made quite a mess and my mom was cleaning up after them all the time. Nobody is there to teach them to pick up or anything. Izzy constantly has bladder infections and still wets the bed at age 11. Her mom rarely takes her to the dr. Cami suffers from seizures and they had issues trying to get her prescription refilled because it expired. Their mom doesn't take care of them very well. Cami's vision was never even checked until she was here last Christmas and she only got contacts because my brother set up her exam and everything while she was here. Cami didn't even own a pair of shoes until my mom bought her some up here. One sad thing to hear was my nephew talking about wanting to get baptized when he turns 8. But that will never happen with his mom. Then Izzy told him that he doesn't have to get baptized. He can wait until he's older to decide what religion he wants to belong to. But all he kept talking about was getting baptized when he's 8. My heart breaks to hear that. His mom will never let him go to church as long as he's with her.

It kills me. Divorce can be an ugly thing. I can only imagine how my brother feels. I know he told my parents he gets annoyed with his ex. She kept saying stuff trying to get him to feel bad for her but he said he has no feelings for her and this was her choice so he doesn't feel bad for her. I know it's hard for him to see his kids go. He knows they aren't cared for as well as they are here but I think he's afraid to fight for them because he's not sure if he could do it alone. But he has us and we'd be willing to help. It's just tough. As they get older it gets harder. They may come for Christmas but not sure. We may not see them until next year. Who knows. I just feel awful for them.

It really makes me appreciate my life. My parents taught me the things I needed to learn. They took care of me. They showed me they loved me. And I look at Scott and I and our kids. We love each other so much and our kids. We take good care of them. We teach them about the church and take them to church. We have made a lot of sacrifices to live on one income so I can be home with them. It's been tough. Especially those 3 months where Scott was only working 4 days a week and him and his manager were trying to fight for him to get his hours back. That's where we got into more debt and it was hard but still worth me staying home. I am so thankful every day that we can make it work. Now if Scott could get another raise (its been  yrs since his last) life would be just a little easier. But I'm not gonna hold my breath for that one :)

I can't say I wish my brother never was married to his ex because I love my nieces and nephew and had they not lived in Tooele we never would have moved her and I would never have met Scott. I just wish things were better. I guess things like this just help me to want to be a better mom and wife and daughter.